You can't turn around on a one way street.

I'm holding onto a dream that'll never come true.

Friday, August 29, 2008

hello peeps. :D see? I'm much happier now! it's a pity someone isn't. eh Stanley, cheer up la. :(

had a teachers' day celebration at school today. quite nice I must say, except for the poem reciting & the p4 singing part la. -.- & heng the Kai Li nv sing, or the sch would have suffered some losses, cos they would have to repair the windows, & pay for ppl's specs. xD

then got one live band(?) come to our school, & there was one part of the song which is "if you want to falalalala with me then let's go" walao eh, who want falalalala with them la. xD

& who going the APS family nite? ><>

& my dear Catrina is going with me to my bro's class party next week! yayness. Nintendo Wii, here I come! -.- I'm glad Cat is going with me sia, or I'll be the only p6 there, plus Eugene Koh. rawr. -.-

till then.

Let's go back to where we were before.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

somebody cheer me ups please. what's wrong with me nowadays mans. those quarrels & bad moods, they suck okay. something's really really wrong, idk if the problem lies with me, but I rly can't carry on this way. I've gotten ppl into enough trouble.

& I admit I was in the wrong today, but the way you blamed me, i only have to say, was it my fault that she saw my blog? did I want her to see my blog? no, I didn't.

life's meaningless to me now.

I've got enough problems at home now, and I don't need anymore. I want to cry those unhappiness out, but those fucking tears just won't get out. no one will be able to feel that kind of pain, those things stuck in my heart, & not being able to get them out. it seems like nobody is here for me now, & I'm lost, very lost. I don't know how to get on with life, damn. I guess things're never gonna be how they used to be.

& I'm sorry Catrina, I've taken "that thing" off my previous post. those few words caused so much trouble, I've got no coice but to take it down, so, hope you understand.

P.S/can teachers stop coming here to read my posts? I don't need counselling or advice from you all, I alrd know what you all are gonna say. don't force me to change my url, & don't tell my parents anything. have you all got nothing better to do? telling my parents means adding to my troubles, so, no thank you.

why won't you open your eyes, & see that something is wrong?

Sunday, August 24, 2008

hello peeps. I'm all cheered up now, & I'm going to my uncle's birthday BBQ party later. yipee yay yay. :D I may be too busy eating or playing to take pictures, so, don't count on me posting pics! ><

&& I want a kor/jie ! :) someone who'll be there when I need him/her most, & tell me where I've gone wrong. hais, life just ain't good for me these days. :(

where were you when I needed you most?

Saturday, August 23, 2008

life hasn't been fair these days. & finally, today, I couldn't hold back my tears, & cried, all thanks to my mother again. I was using com, & suddenly, all hyperlinks couldn't be pressed, so I restart com, & all I could see was codings & stuff, so I told my mum, ask her help me see, but she came up, & all I got was scolding. she say "see la, dl somemore la, now get virus already." I hate it when she jumps to conclusion okay! I don't even dl can?! so I was so damn angry, I shouted back, "I never dl la! suddenly lidat wat!" & she slapped me. for the very first time in my life, i got slapped.

what right had she to slap me when she was in the wrong, jumping to conclusions? I ran into my room, locked the door, to cry, & she actually forced me to open the door. I was sad, helpless enough, & i only wanted to cry, wanted to be alone, let everything out, but she just wouldn't gimme the chance to. & she scolded somemore, even after she saw me crying. I tried to tell her she jumped to conclusions, but she still can turn everything around and say that everything was my fault. & so I lied on my bed, helplessly, crying, & sms-ed Cat. thanks, girl.

why is everything my fault? if everything I do is wrong, I may as well die. Hasn't she hurt me enough? bloody hell.

I'll never be yours.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Lately I've been thinking 'bout what I can do, I can't go on this way, I've got to stop the pain.

Ok, 2nd post of the day. I'm not that angry anymore, I've gotten over it. come on Rebecca, stop envying them & thinking about how much fun they're having there.

my class has moved over to the classroom next to 6/10. yipee yaaaaaay! how is that? :D then I get to see him everyday, haha! & had a super awkward but funny conv with Cherlyn & Darren Tan ytd, ok, actually, none of us talked luh, only Cherlyn. lol, paiseh mah. & aft he hanged up, I was lauhging my ass off okay, & we conv agn, but darren tan didn't know i in the conv caaaan! xDDDD

&& my dear Cherlyn, can you just tell him you like him, since he asked you anyway. please please puh-leaaaaseeee. -.- i'm like a fool typing this kinda thing here.

okay, nth to post abt alrd, so, till then.

you don't fucking own me.

hey there. I'm kind of down in the dumps right now, so don't expect smiling faces in this post. the thing is, I finally go tmy dad to allow me to go out with Klar, Stan, Cheong, Cat, Cherlyn & Tammie, then, my mum & bro had to ruin it all. I was like, so happy, arrived at Klar's house, & changed into my clothes, then I watch Tammie audi, & then I heard smth vibrating, which was my hp, & it was calling from my mum's office. dead, I thought, & of cos, I wasn't wrong. my bro was stranded outsode my hse, no key to go in, & he was the one who told me my mum would be at home, so I never worried. then my mum in the end fetch me from Klar's hse, & no matter what I said, she just wouldn't let me go with them.

what a bitch, why did she have to ruin everything? & she said she was going to wallop my dad. another quarrel, great. divorce & fight until die for all I care, I can't be bothered. fuck. & I almost cried ytd, all because of her, & she would have been so guilty when I rly cry, cos I haven't cried in a million years. what the fucking fuck did I do to deserve this? I want to get bad results one isit? & she blames everything on me, on Tammie, but she was the cause of everything. if she gave me a little more freedom, I wouldn't be what I am now, & she still thinks it's Tammie. god damn it.

& those pictures I promised, I'm sorry, but I can't put them up here. I printscreen them into Word, & now, cnt load word up here. I so fucking need someone now, but there's no one there for me.

P.S/ sorry for the vulgarities, but I can't hold them back.

sorry, but I can't turn my feelings off.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

hey y'all. haven't been blogging aften cos my mum won't let me use the com. rawr! >:(

this is gonna be a short post kay? had my oral exams on Thurs & Fri. I think I did okay ba. & I'll be posting up some pics of Cat & my funny conversation. xDDDD AFT MY PRELIMS. :D

A true friendship, never ends.

Monday, August 11, 2008

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KLARISSAAAAAA!

& here's a post for you, birthday girl !

too bad that I don't have a present for you, paiseh la. :x

so fast, it's alrd our last year together, & I wonder if I'll still be able to wish you happy birthday next year. :( I can't bear our class to separate, I'm gonna cry!

Ok, since it's such a happy occasion, I shan't ruin anybody's mood, haha!

till then. ;)

I'm sorry, sorry for not being perfect.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Hellos. :D I'm back from my swimming. I actually wanted to swim super fast tuhday, to vent out my frustrations, but somehow, I felt like I had no energy. my dad totally ruined my mood today, I shan't say what happened, but all I gotta say is, I may not have the chance to use com anymore. :(

ok, shall go gaming now. && I'm looking forward to Tuesday, cos I want to see what tricks Catrina has up her sleeves. :D Tuesday, faster comeeeeee!

Like a song stuck in my head, you're stuck in my heart.

Saturday, August 09, 2008

I'm bored, so...

A for Alicia/Arabelle
1 Do you love this person ?
-Yes, as a friend :D/Ok ok? o.o
2 Is this person your enemy ?
-No!-.-/Of course not!
3 Would you kiss this person ?
-Nope. :x/Also no. :D

B for
1 What do you really think of this person ?
-
2 What’s his/her favourite colour ?
-
3 Ever dance with him / her before ?
-

C for Cheryl /Catrina/Cherlyn
1 Do you have a crush on this person ?
-Do I look like aye lesbian?-.-
2 Have you ever had a crush on him / her ?
- -.-lll !
3 How old is he/she ?
-All 12. :D

D for Donovan?
1 How long have you known him / her ?
-Since P3?
2 Biggest regret ?
-Don't have. :D
3 Do you hate this person ?
-Only when he disturbs me about Wei Hao. :(

E for Eugene?
1 Have you met his/her parents ?
-I woildn't be interested -.-
2 Worst thing about this person ?
-Petty & Pathetic!!! :x
3 Best thing about this person ?
-Nothing! xD But if you really want to know, then u gotta ask Klarissa. :D

F for
1 Have you ever dated this person ?
-
2 When is the next time you will see him/her ?
-
3 Do you go to school with them ?
-

G for Gary
1 Is he/she a good listener ?
-Didn't think so.
2 Have you ever lied to make this person feel better ?
-Nope. :D
3 Is this person good looking ?
-Ok ok ba. :)

H for
1 What grade is he/she in ?
-
2 Is he/she your friend ?
-
3 Ever done something illegal with this person ?
-

I for Isabelle
1 What is this person’s favourite food ?
-How would I know mans? -.-
2 How did you meet this person ?
-Er, classmates.
3 Do you trust her/him ?
-Used to, but not anymore. :D

J for Jin
1 Does she/he have any siblings?
-Yeah.
2 Do you know his/her favourite song ?
-Rock? o.o
3 What would you do if he/she confessed he/she liked you ?
-Sorry, but it's never gonna happen. xD

K for Klarissaaaaaaa
1 How old were you when you first met ?
-9, I think
2 How did you meet ?
-Classmates. :D
3 Ever danced with him/her ?
-Nooooo! :x

L for
1 What would you do if you had a crush on this person ?
-
2 Do you like him/her as a friend ?
-
3 Would you go to Disney World with this person ?
-

M for
1 Is this person older than you ?
-
2 Is this person single ?
-
3 How many times do you talk to him/her in a week ?
-

N for Nicholas?
1 Is this person your boyfriend/girlfriend ?
-Nope, tht's for sure. :D
2 Have you seen this person cry ?
-No!
3 Do you know this person’s middle name ?
-Hau? o.o

O for
1 Are you related ?
-
2. Could you live with this person?
-
3 What school does he/she go to?
-

P for
1 Have you ever been to the mall with this person ?
-
2 How about a sleepover with them ?
-
3 Does this person have a job ?
-

Q for
1 Does this person drink alcohol ?
-
2 Have you seen this person dance ?
-
3 Who does he/she like now ?
-

R for
1 Have you heard this person sing ?
-
2 Do you think this person will repost this ?
-
3 When does this person look best ?
-

S for Stanley/Sean
1 Is this person taller than you ?
-Hope not :x/Think so! ><
2 Do you enjoy spending time with him/her ?
-Dunno leh/Yes, cos he's super funny, though he teases me sometimes. :(
3 Do they live close to you ?
-Dunno. o.o

T for Tammie/Terry
1 Would you do anything for him/her ?
-Maybe, maybe not. :x/No!
2 Have you been to his/her house ?
-Wish I did. :( /No, & I wouldn't want to. :)
3 Where do he/she live ?
-Serangoon/Yishun

U for
1 Is this person in a relationship ?
-
2 When is the last time you saw him / her?
-
3 What colour hair does this person have ?
-

V for Vanessa Chan
1 Does she have a crush on you ?
-Nope. -.-
2 Would you hug this person ?
-Er, don't think so? :x
3 Is this person your friend ?
-Not friend then wat? -.-

W for
1 Is this person loud or quiet ?
-
2 Describe this person
-
3 What colour eyes does this person have ?
-

X for
1 Why are you friends with him / her ?
-
2 Have you ever gone anywhere with he/her ?
-
3 What is one thing you would change about he/her ?
-

Y for
1 Does this person wear make-up ?
-
2 Does this person play any instruments ?
-
3 What is his/her favourite sport ?
-

Z for Zerline
1 Does this person have MSN ?
-Yeeees! :D
2 Have you ever made out with this person ?
-EWWWWWWW!
3 When will you see this person next ?
-Tuesday! :D

Give me back my life it used to be, it's time to let you go so I can be free.

Friday, August 08, 2008

hey there. I'm back from my cross country, finally. & today happens to be the Olympics right? lol. anyway, at um, sembawang park, aft cross country, me, Klarissa, Tammie, Cheryl, Cherlyn & Keerthana & Catrina were sitting at the bench, and then Cat & Klar were twosome-ing okay. xDDD then, I think they got rly boliao, & they started writing in the sand: Rebecca[heart]xxxx. and of course, somebody normal's reaction wld be to rub it away luh. -.- & I was laughing my ass off at Glen's acting. LMAO! xD
okay, & then for the past week, some rly er, funny(?)things happened.

Mon

stayed back for supp. & then in the hall, Klar & co. were up to their usual mischief again. :D
he was standing there, & they wanted to go find Tammie, which will like, pass by him. so I didn't want to go, & they pulled me to go, but of cos, cnt laaaa. then, they started taking my bottle, & passing it to each other, & then dun want to give me back. :( evil.

so, I chased & chased, & then he came in the hall, & took a chair, & sat there. & I think the stooopid Catrina/Klar go put my bottle near his leg! paiseh sia, & while I was chasing them, one of the 6/10 guys actually eh eh eh-ed at me. must be big-mouth Eugene Koh spread one! >:(
someday, they'll pay for this. :D

& I've got back my results.
EL- 73.5/90
MA- 43/100
CL- 84/100
SC- 63/100
HCL- 44/60

& so you see, I failed Maths. & whenever my mum asks if I've got back my papers, i gotta say no, & try to drag as long as possible. & i dno how to show it to her mans, when I can't hide it any longer. :( can someone tell me hoooooow?

ok, shall go do my things now. buh-bye.

I want to be the girl you point at and say, "that's her."

Sunday, August 03, 2008

I miss you, I can't stand this. I want me&you to be together, but there's nothing I can do.

Whoopee Dee Doos! went to play tennis ytd. I actually didn't thought of playing, then aft tht saw my parents & brother & my cousin play like so fun, so I tried playing also, but I had to play barefooted, cos I didn't bring my sports shoes! yeah, barefooted tennis. :D lols. & I tell you, it ain't easy stuff okay. like, when you serve, you gotta look at the BALL & look at where you want to hit. && it's not like badminton, you have to hit with all your might. & idk why, I hit so hard, it still doesn't go over the net. wth was wrong mans.-.- & what do I get for trying so hard? MUSCLE ACHE laaaaaaaa, what else! -.- & my hand is like, trembling now, it happens whenever I use too much force/strength on it. Grrrrr. >:(

Anws, I'm going to East Coast Jumbo Seafood to celebrate my aunt's birthday, then go cycling, or vice versa. whoopee dee da doos! but I so long nv cycle, I scared I kinda lost my skills or wat then fall down. :X I hope not. okaaaaayy. byebye!

Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning.

Saturday, August 02, 2008

ok, this is my second post of the day, because I'm so damn sian. & klarissa says she's gotta wait till at night, when everything has happened, then she can post. Rawr. I actually have nothing to post abt, just typing some nonsense in here y'know.

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see? okay, byes.

The hardest part about running away from you is knowing you won't run after me.

Heys. Went back to JB ytd cos my momma had to see a bone specialist(?) so I ponned Mr Ong's High Achiever & Mrs Nam's tution. && that's why I missed the chance to play the Nintendo Wii, but nvm laaaa, it's not really that errrr, wasted? you want me to wait till 3pm just to play Nintendo Wii meh?

& then Tay Yong almost called my parents on Tues. :o she said I wasn't paying attention in class, & I changed alot, then dno what. I know I changed la, but what can I do? I just like, kinda lost interest in my studies. even ammar also say I become bad girl. :x dno la, then so I go tell her dun call so she tok tok tok, then I diam diam luh, I didn't know what to say okay.

then got oral, I think I did rly badly for my MT picture part. I didn't mention alot of things in the picture, but then my passage reading I think like, quite good. :D & EL, got alot of prompting during Conv. o.o & some really funny things happened when we were like lining up for our turn. xDDD shan't mention what happened. & klarissa, may I tell you tht it wasn't fate tht me & him were in the same group? o.o

ok, shall end here, I'm so bloody sian now, can ppl stop sleeping & come online? -.-

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